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MR 2/1 - Good Sports or Sour? |
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Only 12 Almonds, good & true, filed past the troll guarding the entrance to the Southmead Community Centre, making good use of the password “Sue Bowers” to answer his growled riddle of “who is your Secretary?” before they were allowed to pass into the paradise of the greener grass that was the skittle alley. At first it appeared that aRCe had especially asked to be paired with Wiggle to get things going, but it turns out he just wanted to make a quick getaway and drew the short straw when Craptain put her on as Calamity Jane to his Wild Bill Hicock… not that there was much sharp shooting going on: aRCe scored 17, Wiggle 7, and whilst this wasn’t exactly what we’d both planned as our debut for 2007 the damage wasn’t too great at 5 down. Next up we had Barnesy & Taffy. Offering encouragement, Chuckle 1 called out “that was close” as Barnesy’s first ball trickled happily down the gully. He watched on undeterred from his optimistic perch as she rolled her way to a hat-trick of Earthas, and although no-one is quite sure where he had it, we all loyally waited with baited breath as he ‘had a feeling’ that Barnesy was going to get the first ball in on her 4th up. She did hit something, but alas not the front pin, so it turns out he had the wrong sort of feeling. And as Barnesy joined Compact in the exclusive Slimbridge Club having served up a 6 Duck Special, it was generally agreed that Chuckle 1 must have lost all feeling. Taffy calmly racked up 23 pins, but we still slipped by a further 10 to be 15 behind as Craptain chose Jocky & peRV to pull things back. Jocky, taking time out from seat acquisitions, scored 19, matching his partner peRV, who was obviously not inspired into top class play even though it is rumoured he took a call from his mistress. No other explanation was considered as much fun following peRV’s greeting of “ ‘ello Darlin’ “ to his mobile phone caller. The excitement that was generated by pulling back a whole pin at this point was slightly disturbing, which proved too much pressure for Orical & Compact to live up to, as they immediately threw it away again. I think a lot of energy that could have been used on the alley was expended by re-enacting scenes from The Life of Brian, though it was much more fun to listen to that rather than the sound of air as the balls rushed by the pins. Orical didn’t waste any time in driving home his advantage of Wiggle’s earlier poor play, making sure he scored more than her without rubbing her nose in it, being careful not to stamp all over the Christmas truce so early into the New Year. Compact scored 23, which annoying means he’ll shove Wiggle back down in the averages… Back to 15 down, Craptain chalked up Hammer & Sparky. To ensure a game, Hammer had been singing Craptain’s praises all night – about how well he was playing & how he deserved to be at the top of the averages; blah, blah, blah – at least he was until Barnesy told him to put a sock in it because hadn’t he realised he was playing anyway as there were only 12 of us there. Hammer is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot. We were spared a lot of his philosophising this week, although something to bear in mind is that should you give him a penny for his thoughts you will get change. Anyhoo… credit where credit is due, Hammer & Sparky turned the game around with our two top scores of 27 & 29, pulling 23 pins to put us 8 in front just before the last fence. Leaving the unpleasant vision of them creeping up Craptain & Chuckle 1’s average behinds in our minds, they made way for our ‘ankers to at least hold on to our tenuous lead. The last set of ups were a little tense to say the least, Craptain starting off with a brace of ducks just to make it more exciting! Greystoke Sports must have wondered what the hell happened when we pulled a win by 7 pins out of the trash – Craptain scored a Sweet 16 & Chuckle 1 a quarter century to leave us unbeaten this year! As we are unanimous in thinking we are not going to win anything from the league this season, our only hope of a night out at the BAWA Club this year – beyond our game against the Chairmans there on Thursday 4/1! – is to win the Knockout Cup. Come on The Almonds!!
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