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It transpires that Craptain thought Compact had done such a good job last week piloting the team that he asked him to do the same again this week –well, that’s what Compact said, anyway. I wondered how he was going to trump polishing his balls for the love of the team, but he did so by warming them in his hot little hands for us this time round! The Welsh Boyos were quite impressed with this turn of events, perhaps a little too much so, but it seemed to consternate Sparky, who pointed out his own were only tepid as he’d had a shower before he came out, and that he only had 2 whereas Compact was referring to 3... And there were presents for the most deserving – some might call this currying favour, but it worked for me because I was one of the chosen!! Only disappointment was Compact forgot to put the Easter Eggs in the mugs – I would have scored more had I been given chocolate for sure!
The match against Unigate at St. Teresa’s went so quickly that I wondered if they were in danger of having to say a few extra Hail Mary’s if they were out after 10pm. They didn’t seem to be in too much of a rush to start with, ambling in some minutes after the Almonds had started to assemble, but the game soon got under way with our Welsh Boyos storming us into the lead by 4 with a 16 from Jocky & an 18 from Taffy. Having hovered twixt & ‘tween Those in Blue & Those in Pink last week, inviting the observation that he batted for both sides, Jocky sat firmly in ensconced amidst Pinks – I have absolutely no clue as to what interpretation to put on that, but Taffy had a smile on his face.
peRV threw down the gauntlet to Wiggle by scoring 24 & then throwing a good luck over his shoulder for the averages war in a most insincere manner as he rushed off with no thought to team spirit to pursue his peRVerse pleasures. And how rude was he to misconstrue for 1 second my text to let him know I had only got 17 & that it was a shame he couldn’t have stayed to enjoy his moment of glory? – can I help it if I had a typological error and hit the worng ditig? It happened last week in the match report when I recorded his 29 as 19, so it was probably just reverse whatjamecallit. Well, if it is so important to him to beat a girl in the averages, let him get on with it – I can rise above such things.
peRV was paired with Orical & they earned themselves the second WPTP of the night by increasing our lead to 15 pins, with Orical scoring 23 in a haphazard fashion, choosing to employ a particularly bizarre technique of only taking out pins that were stood on their own, rather than hitting those gathered in a pack – but don’t knock it ‘til you’ve tried it, cuz it obviously worked!
Compact got to make his 3rd and final selection of the evening by playing with Sparky. Dubbed The Dream Team by Taffy, (no, I’m not sure why either) he was soon hollering at them to get on with game and pack in the dreaming...
Competitiveness over who had the hottest balls was put aside as they strove to increase our lead. Sparky missed his opportunity to gain on Pete by getting a 30+ on the board, settling for 29, and Compact fired up 18 to keep us 13 pins in front and fulfilled his stipulation of “as long as we are winning when Reg walks in, that’s all that matters”.
And indeed Craptain had a smile on his face when he joined us at the midway point to take control. Or maybe it was wind... Anyway, saved the terror of playing Anchor for the 2nd week running, Wiggle was up next with Lodge. Poor boy was probably over-awed, or possibly worn out from trying to help Chantelle work out how to button the straps on her skirt, because this week he only managed a 15. I have to confess I would have liked to have done better than 17, but apart from my first up when I played my 3 wild balls, I believe I was robbed… not too many people can miss the front pin by a squidgeon 6 times – probably the sticker up didn’t place it on its precise, correct, exact position? What do you reckon Reg? I did think it was a little unchivalrous of Compact to point out that he’d scored his 18 without any ducks as Wiggle got the calculator out to work out how much she had to pay for hers… but I forgive him because he is just so lovely, makes such a great Vice Craptain & brings presents.
aRCe turned up this week, minus his sick note for last, & caused disruption in only the way he can when his cock unexpectedly crowed – Unigate’s cries of “fowl play” were drowned out by the Almonds entreaties for him to put his cock away… As aRCe & Craptain were lined up to play 5th pair, our lead had been reduced to 7 pins, but completely unfazed by distraction or pressure, their combined efforts pulled us back the 6 pins Lodge & Wiggle lost. (I don’t mean to be pedantic, but I think it’s worth pointing out that of all the players who lost pins against their opponents on this particular evening, Wiggle lost the least with 1…). aRCe scored 18, Craptain joining Sparky with Top Score of 29, and back to 13 in the lead we had 2 Young Guns to see us past the finishing post.
It was good to welcome back MiniDisc, although he did lower the tone of the evening by shouting “bollocks” after his first ball... we’ll let him off with that one and put it down to nerves after a prolonged abstinence. Having been in the lead all evening, the YGs decided to test the Almonds resolve to the limits by making their ups a roller coaster ride. MiniDisc pulled his game up, but sadly not his trousers, to finish on 19, and Turk sent balls & pins flying helter-skelter to score 26 and bring us victory on his last up by 3 pins!! I felt so sorry for the Unigate-man who got a big, fat duck on his last fling and felt the need to attack a chair in anguish – NOT!!!! This fine finale earned George & Jake a well-deserved WPTP, despite their dropping 7 pins, because without the pair holding their own we would have been in a right mucking fuddle once more.
So we left a happy band of skittlers, no one got the right hump, and it looks like we have ourselves a right couple of Leaders into the bargain!
Our last home game of the season will be Tuesday 18/4 against the Odds & Sods from the PBA Club – don’t forget your party spirit and food!!
** Final fixture of the season is on FRIDAY 28/4, which will be at Patchway Sports & Social Club against Proinn.
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