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There were quite a few worrying developments at Wednesday's match against Winterbourne CC - not least the fact that we lost for the 3rd week running. This may in part have been due to the focus of our players not being entirely on the game itself and WD No.1, The Boys' obsessive excitement about and interest in the colour of their new Team t.shirts: I chose pink at our AGM, just to be perverse because I thought that was the one colour all the men would hate, but no!, most of our bunch of macho skittlers WANT baby pink - although they would appear to have drawn the line at having our names studded on the back in diamonte... However, after violent objections and absolute refusal from the 2 Johns to embrace pink, (neither wanting to invite the attentions of the 'wrong sort' and get beaten to a pulp at the salubrious venues we get to visit), a compromise was finally reached and we will have the choice to wear pink or blue. Hurrah! What The Boys will be like next week deciding on size, God alone knows - there has already been disconcerting talk of going with 'tight fitting' to show off their manly physiques...
Against this backdrop, the game had actually commenced by the way! Craptain put Jake & Lodge up first, and although they dropped 11 pins both scored well: Jake, with 17, presumably claimed that his less spectacular ups were just the hub caps falling off, but Slimbridge (pot, kettle, black?) reckoned it was definitely the wheels!; Lodge was determined not to be outdone and scored 20, leaving him pleased to move off the bottom of the averages - flatout safe, wot?
Whilst refining their skittling skills, it would appear the Young Guns have also been studying at the Ministry of Funny Handshakes, and they were given further opportunity to practise these when Craptain gave Georgie Boy and Danny the opportunity to shine next - Jen being dropped in favour of Danny. Pedantically, Craptain hotly denied this and insisted that I 'volunteered to stand aside'. Whatever. How much did he resist? - you could see the smoke coming off his heels in his rather unflattering race to get to the board and wipe my name off!! And here we have to address WD No.2 - is Jen being phased out? Even The Boys seemed to feel the need to find me a new role within the Team - it would appear that due to my being female it follows I would make a good Kit Manager (aka Scrubber - they laughed themselves silly over that one!) and they seem to think I will be grovellingly grateful at being given the dubious honour of washing the Team kit... Remember you are dealing with a bit of LSC class here - let me know which bit of fcuk off you chauvinistic gits don't understand. My loving husband, I am certain, would have defended my honour vigorously had be not been incapacitated by his man-cold.
Back to the game, and Georgie Boy got 21 this week, which means not only did he beat his old man's score, but he stays above him in the averages too, which Daddy is none too happy about! Danny's debut saw him score 20, beat his opponent by 8 and pull back 4 pins on the game to leave us only 7 down as peRV & TB took to the alley as 3rd pair. The 'Dream Team' days are surely over, as peRV got lowest score with an unlucky 13 this week, undermining TB's valiant efforts to drag us out of trouble by scoring 26 with NO DUCKS! Still, we only dropped 2 pins, so there was no particular pressure on arCE & JL to work miracles as 4th pair, just keep us in position for a last lap sprint to the post!
I really don't know what to say about aRCe's game, except he scored 16... JL got a 9 to start, but the jinx of 'never start with a 9' must have been warded off by his man-cold as he stormed on to a total of 34 this week. Despite that, the pair still dropped 1 on the game, leaving us 10 down as penultimate 'Ankers Sparky & Craptain attempted to be the ones who turned the game around! What happened was... they dropped 20 pins between them after scoring 17 and 15 respectively, and Sparky gave us our new team motto: "What a load of crap, but that will do"!!
Jockey was also left on the bench this week, and I am not sure if Craptain made his decision to 'rest' him before or after Jockey was rumoured to have said he wanted to be taken up the alley... Slimbridge & PeB were given the opportunity to lead us to victory, but they couldn't be aRCe'd. CD, whose excuse was that he hadn't had time for a lie-down all day - not even a quickee - to recharge his battery, scored 18 and dropped the most number of pins of the evening (17) against his opponent into the bargain. PeB put in his usual steady performance and quietly got on with knocking 28 pins down, but even so we dropped a further 15. On a positive note, at least we didn't lose by as many pins as the previous week - it was only 45 this time, AND we also had our highest total of the season so far, 245! So, it is official, we are getting better!!
Next week's game is on our home alley on Tuesday 27th September against the Magpies.
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