Match Report Monday 24^th September 2007 – Patchwegians v Almonds

Dear Craptain,

I can’t tell you too much about the unfolding of our match at Patchway Sports & Social Club on Monday, because I was only there for the last third:  however, as luck would have it, that turned out to be the best, most significant bit of the evening anyway, the only part worth hearing about!

Compact presided over the evening’s events whilst enduring grave discomfort from a stiffy:  not quite as exciting as it sounds – a bit like the ‘Staying Power’ Workshop my male colleagues lost interest in when they realised it was about improving themselves as Team Managers rather than prowess in the bedroom – and nowhere near as much fun for CD, as he struggled on with a chronic pain in the neck leading the Almonds into crooked battle against the Patchwegians. 

Lodge & Jocky played first, scoring 16 & 22 to leave us trailing by 5 pins from the start.  Taffy & Compact were next up, & whilst Taffy managed a reasonable 19, Compact couldn’t make it to double figures for the 2^nd week running, finishing on 9 – but at least he had a good excuse for it this time round.  Now 14 down, Conspiracy Pete – who much to everyone’s surprise produced an averages sheet despite him only being in 4^th place – was put on to play 3^rd pair with Orical.  They scored 22 & 21 respectively, pulling back 16 pins to put us 2 in front at the halfway point.

Our 4^th pair, Turk & peRV, couldn’t keep the momentum going unfortunately – despite my arrival during their ‘turn’, which should have been enough to inspire any man! – & dropped us back to 9 behind after scoring 16 & 20.  Compact did threaten me with ‘anker, but relented & played me 5^th pair instead, ably assisted by fancy-pants MiniDisk.  For all I know it may well have been the glimpses of my partner's Aussiebum pants with their intriguing animal print that sent me into enough of a daze to keep the nerves at bay, but I had one of those nights when nearly every ball hit its mark – I’d prefer to forget the one that hit the gully half way down the alley, which was Compact’s fault anyway because he put me off by lurking behind me shouting instructions - & particularly sweet was the 2^nd of my two 8s, the latter scored on my last up, when I took 2 other pins with the quarter with my last ball to give me a glorious 31!

I was probably more surprised than anyone else by my rise to stardom, & although I won’t deny I was thrilled to bits with my own success it still wasn’t enough with MiniDisk’s 16 to help the team make a dent on the Patchwegians’ lead, instead dropping another pin to put us 10 down as ‘ankers Hammer & Sparky put further pond talk aside & concentrated instead on pins.  Hammer had a shaky start, but as he didn’t manage to beat me I can be magnanimous in saying that he did OK to finish on 29, whilst Sparky stayed with the mainstream on this particular occasion, scoring 19.  We lost our game by 5.

Hopefully Compact will be back on form by the time we play Filton Nomads next Tuesday 2/10 on our home alley.