For those with any interest....
Match Report 20.10.10: Magpies v Almonds
I seem to have fallen foul of the delusion that Match Reports had been missed over preceding seasons, but having failed to produce anything for two weeks in a row with ne’er a sniff of a complaint after a faltering starter of 2, let alone any begging as to know why, I realise that I had just been worn down by one person’s whining that had felt like an avalanche of requests to resume…
Not that the non-production of reports was brought about in any way by dis-satisfaction of their predecessors reception: oh no, there is a much simpler explanation for there being no reports written on the last two matches – namely that The Boys just aren’t performing up to a standard that gives enough ammunition to twist & turn into brazen lies & exaggerations that have become the staple diet of MRs.
Arriving at 8.30pm on 20/10, Wiggle (aka Match Reporter), was immediately taken to task over arriving ‘late’ because skittles starts at 8pm & got the feeling that she was supposed to show remorse, apologise & start spluttering out very good reasons. But she wasn’t really feeling it so instead she just gave a look that was supposed to convey ‘so, what is your point, you are lucky I have turned up at all’ & swanned off to get herself a drink at the bar.
Obviously the game was already in progress, MiniDisk & Stalker #2 getting stuck in early, taking us to a gentle 4 pins deficit after scoring 26 & 16 respectively. They were closely followed by Alice & AndyMan, who did little to help the situation by dropping a further 9 pins with scores of 19 & 18 – looks like they tried a bit too hard not to outdo one another. AndyMan could be forgiven for his 18, making his first appearance this season & out of practice by at least 5 months, but after two weeks scoring 26 each time Alice needs to get his act together.
To a backdrop of the usual plethora of dirty jokes, Jocky & aRCe were hand picked to try to pull the game back in the right direction – at least I think that is what happened, Compact looked like he was thinking hard whilst surveying his troops, but he could have just been concentrating on remembering the rhyme for such choosing, ‘eeny meeny, miney, mo….’ It looked like Jocky was going to excel himself initially, getting himself to 20 by the half way mark, but I am sure no-one needs to be told what happened next….. yes, that’s right, cries of ’40 on’ abounded, which was quickly reassessed to ’30 on’ after he got a duck on his 4th up! He did finish on a respectable 26, pulling 8 pins on his oppo, but only after a shaky start to his 5th up provoked AndyMan to implore Jocky to have a word with himself after missing with his first two balls: ever obliging, Jocky managed to salvage the situation by taking out 3 with his last ball. aRCe had a pip of a night, checking for sh1t on his shoes after his 2nd 9 of the night on his 5th up. His finishing on a 31 & pulling a glorious 21 pins back on his Magpie meant that the Almonds were now 16 up on the game, with The Boys suddenly taking an interest & warming up the vocal chords with a few war cries & swigs of beer.
Wiggle & peRV were chosen to keep the game on track, & the Dream Team did all they could to conserve the faith placed in them by Craptain Default. Everything was going swimmingly for Wiggle until she got the inevitable duck, but even so she managed to get a more respectable score of 26 on the board after a couple of weeks of just about managing double figures! It was a crying shame she had to be pitted against a thieving Magpie who couldn’t resist taking 36 shiny pins to his nest, but of course it is a team game & peRV did all right to get 34 against his own oppo’s 12 & therefore keep us on the right track to increase our lead by 12 & give us an overall balance in the bank of 28 – as well as a ‘well played the pair’!
It was quite surprising that there wasn’t more made of the fact that peRV was on the same score as Jocky at the half way mark, I guess the others were being careful & avoided saying anything about peRV’s own potential to score 40, which was most odd, but Conspiracy Pete soon put that right & whilst he might have jinxed the 40, peRV was more than happy to finally break through the barrier of just missing out on a 30!
Barnesy had joined the ranks by now, turning up with fluff all over her clothes prompting aRCe to wonder if Errol had been round considering that Conspiracy was at skittles early….. she was certainly a little belligerent, letting Craptain Default know in no uncertain terms that she wasn’t going to play on ‘anker, citing that she didn’t like the alley & always got a low score on it. In trying to clarify if she was confused about which alley she got most ducks on she (foolishly) asked CD the question, only to be told it applied to most of them…. He is such a brilliant motivator & champion of positive reinforcement!!
As it turned out, Barnesy didn’t even need to play, so she had a few more open & honest exchanges of opinion about being dragged out needlessly with anyone within range, before settling down to enjoy the rest of the game, gearing up to give Conspiracy some grief when he took up his place as Chief ‘anker. But before that we had the delight of watching Compact & Sparky battle it out on the alley…
Compact had the old exocets firing, storming his way to a 31, despite the best efforts of his team-mates to jinx his own success by mentioning as many times as possible that he was on for a 30….. Sparky, meanwhile, was urged to get his laser out by Compact after producing a duck, but Sparky was too busy summing up his own performance in eloquent fashion by saying he can’t go a week without getting a fcuking duck. Whilst he might have been a little displeased with his own score of 20, Sparky had nothing to fear because his pairing with Compact meant we pulled another 3 pins on the game to be leading by 31 as we rolled into ‘anker time.
Silver Fox, previously known as Craptain, kicked things off & although the game was in the bag & the usual sucking was all going on, it was a pretty close matched set of ‘ankers. Foxy finished up on 22, dropping 1 pin against his Magpie, whilst Conspiracy pulled two on his with a 28. He could easily have been on for a 30, but with 12 jurors winding him up at every turn over not getting a duck, Conspiracy succumbed to putting all 3 balls through as close to the front pin as you can get without knocking it down! So the Almonds took the game by a win of 32, & the Magpies were very gracious in their defeat.
So, next exciting foray into the world of skittles is Tuesday 26th October, Home alley, against Filton Sports.
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